


leave the car running.

by lilevans



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Driving, F/M, First Kiss, Late Night Conversations, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22571671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilevans/pseuds/lilevans
Summary: “I.. I uh... I know that it’s a bad time, and uh, we’re technically not talking, but. I’m...very drunk and i... cannot walk home. And there’s no one left for me to call. I was wondering if you would uh. Be my ride. But... if you’re too tired, it’s okay-”He doesn’t let her finish. He will always go to get her. Even when he’s angry. “I’ll be there soon. Fuckface.”
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	leave the car running.

**_LEAVE THE CAR RUNNING, I’M NOT READY TO GO._ **

There’s a dying cigarette butt on the grass. She stomps on it with her foot, extinguishes it. The lights are still on in the house behind her, the quiet lull of the remains of a party. But it’s 3:02 in the morning, and she needs to go home. There’s no one else she cares about at that party, and quite frankly, the chill in the air is settling into the depths of her skin. She didn’t dress for February cold. 

Lily stares at the number on her phone until it blurs over, comes into focus and blurs over again. She can barely stand straight and still, too many jelly shots and vodka. He was so angry at her, still sober and he left the party early, slamming his car door. Sirius and Remus had had to split a cab. And she’s still so mad at him. He said such awful things about petunia, about Severus, about people she loves. Even though she knows he’s right, she knows she shouldn’t love them. Petunia or Vernon wouldn’t pick her up right now. She can’t walk home. Her mum has only just started sleeping properly again. It’s taken a full year. Her dad would have picked her up, would have brought tea in travel-mug and told her she was a silly goose for not calling earlier. But her dad’s been gone for a year now. There’s no one left to call but James. 

The call button begins to stare back at her, daring her to press it. She doesn’t even know if he will pick up or if she even wants him to. But the phone is dialling his number before she can think about it anymore. 

He picks up on the fifth ring. He debated not answering at all, looking vacantly at the screen for what felt like forever, but then again. He’s always known he can’t not answer when it’s Lily. even though he’s furious with her. Almost like he has no control over it. 

“Evans?” He asks into the dark.

She chokes and the tears come as soon as she tries to speak. 

“I.. I uh... I know that it’s a bad time, and uh, we’re technically not talking, but. I’m...very drunk and i... cannot walk home. And there’s no one left for me to call. I was wondering if you would uh. Be my ride. But... if you’re too tired, it’s okay-”

He doesn’t let her finish. He will always go to get her. Even when he’s angry. “I’ll be there soon. Fuckface.”

She stands by the sidewalk and waits for another ten minutes, scuffing her feet, thinking about how her head is swaying and vodka sucks and she hates James but she also kind of loves him and life isn’t fucking fair because her mum wasn’t sleeping and her sister is a stranger and her father is dead and dead and dead. 

James pulls into the curb, wheels crunching the leaves and the brakes squeaking. He leans out the window, winding it down to tell her it’s him. She doesn’t look at him. She already knows the beaten red ford falcon is his. As he pulls over, he can’t stop thinking about how she’s beautiful, even when he’s mad at her and she’s begrudgingly vexed at him and she’s so drunk she’s swaying and she has a mysterious mark on her skirt and her makeup is smudged but holy fuck her eyes are so green and her hair is so red and maybe he is still in love with her even if he is beyond furious at her and maybe, this is what love is. Always being there to drive her home. 

There are a few moments of silence as she unskillfully clambers into the front seat, the smell of vodka temporarily filling the car. He doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t either. Too afraid, full of pride, to admit they were wrong. Lily, too drunk, James, too stubborn. Until, Lily, whose nails are digging into her palms, whose tongue is going numb from the alcohol and her teeth biting down on it, mumbles; “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

He sighs, his jaw set, one hand on the steering wheel, the other changing gears. “I’m sorry too. So much of what I said, about Petunia... about Snape, it wasn’t fair. And, you know… I could never leave you stranded.”

She takes a pause. Admitting when she’s wrong is so hard, so difficult she almost can’t form the words, but when it's for James, for her Jim, it’s worth it. She’ll be wrong for him. 

“I fucked up, Jim.” She says, so quietly he almost doesn’t hear. “You always have my back. I should always have yours, you’re right, I just..”

“Snape had no right using your dad like that. I would have crumbled and done the same thing you did.”

She looks at him with those big green eyes and he almost wants to crash the car to look at them. 

“The difference is that you would never use my dad like that. You really have my back. And uh, I know you loved my dad too.”

He moves his hand from the gear stick to clasp it in hers. “He was a great man.”

Her head hits the window as she rests on it, and the vibrations of James’ steady driving hum gently against her temple. 

“It feels so wrong that I still miss him after this long.” There’s an awful pause as she tries to think of the next thing to say. She hasn’t really talked about it before. Not this in-depth. 

“I know I miss him less and less every day. He begins to be less ingrained in my life, it feels less like an unfillable void, but I… I just want him to tell me everything's okay again. Is that crazy?” She shifts to look at him, eyes wide and desperate for an answer, of any kind. James’ hands stay steady on the wheel. 

“No, Evans,” he says quietly, tenderly. “I don’t think it’s crazy at all.” 

“Thank you. Fuckhead.” 

He pulls into her driveway. There’s no lights on, which means that Lily’s mother is asleep. She feels a sigh of relief. She unbuckles the seat belt, ready to move, and yet, she doesn’t move another muscle. 

“Are you tired?”

She looks at him with those big green eyes and he’s never felt more awake. And to be quite honest, he was dreading the moment he had to drive away from her. 

“No, Evans. Why?” He knows exactly why. He just wants to hear her say it. He wants to talk to her more. 

“I’m not ready to go home.” 

He smiles. The playful, mischievous smirk she thinks she might be in love with. But she’s too drunk to really think that, surely. 

“You’re not tired of me talking?” She bites her lip. The world is hazy, but James is clearer than ever before and she needs nothing else but him in the driver’s seat. It doesn’t even matter where they go. 

“I’m never tired of you, Evans. Are you tired of talking?”

She clips the seatbelt back into place and gestures from him to go, and as he reverses out of the drive, she bites her lip and says, so quietly he almost doesn’t catch it, “not if it’s to you.”

//

He barely remembers where all these roads lead, twisting and turning and dirt to mortar, the way they all interconnect. He barely remembers how he’s gotten to the top of this hill, how they’ve now come to a stop, the car still running, gear-stick in neutral. 

“I forgot to tell you, James,” her lip trembles as she says it, she’s looking at her sleeves. He’s never seen her like this before. 

“Tell me what?”

“I’m never tired of you either.” 

Green eyes into hazel. He focuses on the knot in his throat for a moment, argues with himself about whether or not he should say it, before, words messily tumbling out of his mouth, 

“Fuck, I’m in love with you Evans. Just a little bit.”

There’s a pause. She can’t stop shaking. There’s nothing but the gear stick between them. 

Then, she’s kissing him and lips and teeth are colliding and he tastes like squash and cigarettes and she tastes like vodka but it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of James and Lily, one drunk and kissing the other in a parked car.

“I’m a tiny bit smitten with you too, I think.” She mumbles after they pull away. 

“Well, thank fuck.” 

He drives her home, his hand holding hers the whole time. The gear stick no longer stays between them. And as he kisses her goodbye, he prays to a God that he doesn’t believe in that they can do this all again tomorrow. 

  
  
  



End file.
